The Metaphor for the un-wed this Holiday: Uncle/Aunt Scrooge

Thanksgiving has past - and THANK GOODNESS. All that WORK! Slaving away in the kitchen, and all those DISHES! Phiew! As we are knee-deep in the Holiday season, (and as I have just disabled my OkCupid account after one-too-many harassing messages,) I would like to give a little holiday shout to all the Singles out there:

UNITE! The family-less, the spouse-less, the childless; for this is your time! This Holiday season is ours! We are the ones who need only spend money on ourselves, need only consider what movies WE want to see, or what cuisine WE want to consume. No obligations need tie us down. Nay it is our obligation not to consider anyone else in this equation!

Flee from temporary Holiday romances, because you know full-well that they will only damage you in the end, or at the very best - waste your time and eat up your resources.

To those visiting parents, siblings, nieces and nephews...

...oh... right...

...the nephews...

Bah!!

It's those little nephews that get us every TIME! Singing their little songs, and petitioning to God on behalf of EVERYONE!?!?!?! Those little punks cut right through our defense!!!!

Here are MY own little FOILS:
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERY. ONE.

Special Profile: TINY TIM
Herbert Buckingham Khaury (April 12, 1932 – November 30, 1996), better known by the stage name Tiny Tim, was an American singer, ukulele player, and musical archivist. He was most famous for his rendition of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" sung in a distinctive high falsetto/vibrato voice (though other performances reveal a broader vocal range). He was generally regarded as a novelty act, though his records indicate his wide knowledge of American songs. He had no official middle name, though some web sites report it to be "Butros", his father's first name, while during his televised wedding his middle name was given as "Buckingham". His headstone reads "Khaury, Herbert B".^[1](wikipedia)

I think someone should make a Christmas Blockbuster about "Tiny Tim", staring Steve Coogan.